The Further Away, The Better It Is

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long-distance-datingIf one is hell bent on having a relationship with a stereotype the further one is away from the truth the stronger that stereotype will hold. For those of us interested in the other purely because they are the other, the more foreign the other appears the better. And for those of us attracted as much by a type of guy or girl then we are the guy or girl as an individual the more that guy or girl acts in keeping with their type-at least as that type is portrayed to be-the more we will stay attracted.

Nowhere are all these tenants true between people then when it comes to our physical differences…next to gender the most noticeable of our differences. If we happen to be an Asian guy or girl dating another Asian guy or girl then really we have less differences separating our coupling-even if one person happens to be Chinese and the other Korean-then if we are a western Caucasian born and bred enjoying the attentions of a Asian guy or girl in our Asian dating. The labels really only ever exist in fertile fields for them.

Our fantasies, porn, advertising and prejudices create the ideals in our heads of what each kind of dating should be like. The further from our experience our dating takes us the deeper those prejudices grow so for a Cauca son into Asian dating or an Asian wanting to date a born-and- bred Westerner the fantasy will hold, and therefore the fascination with the mixed dating the less we really know about someone and can simply attribute characteristics on them born of our ignorance. But the more we come to date someone the closer they come and the less we notice the stereotype and more then person. Ironically the very fact that we sometimes date a person who is a type for us is that seem to be a type to us, but they cease to be that type the more we date them.

Dating For Free = NO PRESSURE

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God knows free dating has its critics. Too many single men and women don’t think so much of that dating situation where both partners are free to date, yet come together enough times to title what they do with one another dating! Still free dating works for lots of people and in fact, in many cases, people free dating are having quite the fun time of it.

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There are none of the inherent pressures of sex dating in free dating, though in free dating people are certainly having sex. There is just no defined motivation in free dating where the two people dating know they are coming together each time for some specified reason…like sex daters often do. Of course there is also no pressure on the free dating couple for what turns out to be the hardest aspect of dating and often sees couples break-up…the dreaded steady relationship dating. Free daters do not want a steady relationship, at least not presently, and this is why they have taken to free dating. Without that constant worry of where a relationship might be going, if the two people involved enjoy the same goals, hopes and dreams, if they are compatible for the long term, people can really be free to date worry free. And dating worry free leads to truly fun times.

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Sure, there are lots of guys and gals who do not want to even start to date unless they can with a specific eye on dating for a relationship, dating for marriage, dating for a commitment. Just look at all the people logging-on to those eHarmony sites, leading with their pressurized idea that they are looking for a soul mate ever more then they want to find someone to just go to the movies with! But there are free daters out there enjoying their dating, sex, interactions and they are pretty damn free and enjoying not only being so, but their dates that much more because those dates are indeed free.

The Fear Is The Thing

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Adult datingNobody said this adult dating thing was going to be easy, but it can be as good or bad as we make it. The searching for dates, online and off, the maintaining interest, considering another person, even enough to call when we are running late for a meet, just takes a little maturity. And while determining the specifics of what we do or do not want in our relationships is key and might take some soul searching, really the fears we have about adult dating are never as intense as when the dating comes to pass.

We fear commitment. We fear finding a partner we like so much who won’t maybe like us as much in return. We fear just being used. We fear not being used enough. We fear sex with new people, we fear sex with the ex, we fear sex in general. We as much fear never finding a partner who can give us that sex we only ever fantasize about as we do having to man or girl-up in those instances when we can finally see a kink or a fetish become reality in our lives. We fear dating for a relationship that does come to pass as much as those that fail. And mainly we fear ourselves, what our desires, needs and thoughts and lead us to or keep us from in adult dating.

Single guys and girls, regardless of sexual preference, gender or ethnicity are up against quite the mountain to climb when it comes to adult dating, mainly though, they are up against their fears. No culture or age bleeds fear of intimacy, cohabitation, caring for somebody else out of your system. A gay man dating in America to a teenage girl attempting her first romance in Asia, to a recently divorced MILF to exes finding one another across Facebook, whoever we are and for whatever reason we are out their adult dating we are including another person into our orbit and that’s a scary proposition indeed.

Try A New Style

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It’s becoming more and more common for people of all races and places be seeking partners for XXX dating. In some cases, they aren’t even single people. Many couples are now trying to have open relationships, which allow people to have the security of a committed relationship with the freedom to have an active sex life that includes having sex with a lot of different partners. This is a great option for people who feel that monogamy would be a challenge for them.

Open relationships are ones in which both parties are able to have sexual encounters and relationships with other people. The assumption is that the other encounters will not be romantic or love based, but purely physical in nature. Both parties in the primary relationship generally agree to be honest with each other and have open communication between their other encounters and dates. There are no secrets so there is no cheating – dates are openly discussed, both for communication and for safety. There are sometimes rules and restrictions that are agreed to that place some limits on the dates and encounters, such as not having sex with another person in the home or bedroom of the primary couple. The rules vary depending on the couple and what makes them comfortable.

Sexual encounters

If both people in the original couple aren’t overly jealous people, this can really work well for a lot of couples. A lot of couples aren’t sexually compatible with each other or have different sex drives. If that’s the case, the ability to go outside the relationship for sexual satisfaction can be a great relief and often can save a relationship that is working fabulously well in every other way. Open-minded people are making this type of relationship work, and for many, it has saved their primary relationship. And cross cultures, from Asian societies to western ones, this new style of getting along sees many couples actually get along better

Mixing Things Up

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A lot of people in this world tend to develop very particular needs when it comes to who they go out with. They very rarely deviate from a specific type when searching for sex or relationships. This may be a reflection of what turns them on, but too often they are limiting themselves to one sexual plate when there is a whole buffet of delicacies. Sampling another race would be a bold move for a lot of people, but it is something that everyone should try at least once; love really does make the world go round, no matter where that love comes from!

New experience

Asian dating would be an ideal area for many men and women to take a run at. Black, white, Asian, Latino, Hawaiian: any of these races thrown together in a romantic or sexual capacity would be very eye-opening and a great new experience for the people who try it.

Asian dating can be a hell of a lot of fun for westerners. There are many positives to the Asian culture alone that would make sampling their men and women a great deal of fun. The customs and food is so foreign to a westerner, the many philosophies and religions the western world has only ever attempted, eye-catching minimalist architecture and some of the most dazzling cities in the world are what await anyone looking into the Asian experience.

Asian dating too could mean one might finally understand the differences between Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Thai rather than lumping them all together!

As we all know Asian dating, when it comes right down to it, is not any different than any other ethnicity dating, it is just what you might be used to or have come into contact with. We make the difference really. People are people as we all are pretty much aware of, or will become very much so the second we date outside our ethnicity or culture. Everyone generally wants the same things: to develop relationships and have fun along the way. Opening your eyes to another race or culture, whether you are from the west and taking to Asian dating or your circumstance is the other way around is one of the smarter things you can do.

That Asian Women Thang

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It’s one thing to seek a type for our romances, it’s another to like that type only because they are a type, to not notice that the women or men we are after are men and women beyond their height, hair color, ethnicity. Sure we can be stained by our pasts, our body types and our backgrounds, there are so many factors that influence the person we are really, but we are the sum of our parts and experiences and we are certainly more than the stereotypes that sometimes arise from Hollywood portrayals, wishful thinking or prejudices.

This usually happens proportionally the more someone is foreign to us. A western guy or girl will have been fed a while host of stereotypical images and assumptions from porn to mainstream advertising of Asian women and since an Asian girl is not a western lady, and east is separated from west more than most cultures are one would tend to believe or be susceptible to the images foisted on one when it comes to the quintessential other. But any guy or girl who is not Asian, who indeed befriends or dates and Asian lady gets to soon see that the individual is less who they are because of their ethnicity-though that does play a role in who we are to be sure-then just from who they are.

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In this politically correct all-inclusive age we forget that preferences-and prejudices-are within the prevue and possibility of every human being’s assessments; one will see more negative attention though, that’s for sure! None of us are above liking what we like because it titillates us and if we are attracted to Asian women because of the facial characteristics of certain Asian ethnicities or even what we assume about a whole race of people then that will be our petard to swing from when we realize that just like us, each Asian woman we meet will be first and foremost an individual and our stereotypes and prejudices might just flitter away as we get to know her.

What Chinese Women Want

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chinese-galsChinese women are born within a culture that goes back thousands of years, so often times no matter they are born in America, Taiwan or Hong Kong, they still retain certain cultural leanings that are specific to Chinese culture.

For example, imagine giving a present to a Chinese woman you want to go on an Asian date with  and then she just simply puts it aside without bothering to open it. How would you feel? Would you feel she didn’t care about what you have bought her, or even that she is is showing you some disrespect?

Yes? Well, that’s the problem. In actual fact, in Chinese culture this is what a person is supposed to do when receiving a gift in Chinese culture. It’s actually considered rude to open a gift you have just received in front of someone! So you have to be careful when dating a Chinese gal.

It’s completely opposite compared to western culture, so bearing that in mind, imagine what other misunderstandings can occur between a Chinese girl and a western man!

Not everyone can look like Tom Cruise or Johnny Depp (myself included), but actually that doesn’t matter where most Chinese girls are concerned; and that old chestnut about Chinese females just looking for money also isn’t quite true.

There are many more things in a man that may be possibly important to a Chinese girl, so let’s look at a few:

Having a good education. Since the… century China developed the first culture whereby a man could raise his status from a common one, to a high position through education and the taking of various examinations based on Chinese classics. Still now, a scholarly and educated guy is considered very desirable by Chinese girls.

How you treat her. In general, many Chinese girls expect a guy to be more attentive in the beginning stages (and sometimes later stages), than a western girl expects from a guy. Mostly in the beginning stages they expect a guy to really pull out all the stops to show he is in it for the long haul. There are various tricks to achieve this in a much shorter time mind you.

Experience. The world over, women are attracted to an experienced man. This is even more the case with Chinese girls by my observation in the years I’ve lived in mainland China. I’ve seen guys Chinese and western, with groups of beautiful Chinese girls surrounding then simply because they were really experienced in a particular field, career or otherwise. Women, and especially Chinese women, don’t have the same criteria for attraction that a man does.

Always remember when trying to attract Chinese women that she comes from a a culture markedly different from your own. Personally, I’ve never experienced a culture as different from my own as Chinese culture. There are many customs totally opposite to our own.

Make sure to learn more about Chinese culture and it’ll help you greatly and also when trying to win her, and also smoothing the to be expected ripples in the relationship.

 

 

Male Asian Hottie of The Month: Daniel Dae Kim

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A little while ago, I was reprimanded for not putting Daniel Dae Kim as a male hottie of the month on our free online dating blog and I must say I do deserve the slap on the wrist because a lot of women worldwide would love to go on an asian date with this former Lost castaway.

Born in South Korea, but raised in the Pennsylvania, Daniel Dae Kim began acting after he became a theatre major. He graduated from New York City’s prestigious acting program in 1996 and has been getting work steadily ever since.

Although his best known role is as Jin in Lost, Daniel Dae Kim was also known for his numerous roles in the horror and science-fiction genre.  He has made multiple appearances in shows such as Angel, 24, Charmed, The Andromeda Strain and even played a small role in Spider Man 2 as a doomed scientist.

However, Kim’s most accomplished achievement may be that he was named one of People Magazine’s sexiest men alive in 2005.  This is a huge achievement because asian men were not typically known to be featured in the magazine as sex symbols.

The actor’s martial status is unknown which may excite the ladies even more, but in the mean time while you girls are fantasizing about drooling over Kim’s fit body, you can also catch him on the hit show Hawaii Five-0 every week on CBS.

Here’s to Daniel Dae Kim for being Asian Free Date’s male hottie of the month!

 

 

 

 

Is Marriage A Business?

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A little while ago, I went to a lecture hoping to get ideas for some free online dating articles and while listening to a very wise woman speak about the topic of dating and marriage, I was hanging onto every word.  She said that when people are in a long-term commitment with someone and expect something in return for something they do, then it is not a marriage but rather it is a business arrangement.

At first, I thought this woman was crazy and that every healthy marriage has to have a certain degree of “give and take” in order to survive.  However, after sleeping on it, I realized my way of thinking was wrong.

If we look at our own Asian family trees or even surprisingly healthy celebrity relationships, the most successful are ones that don’t expect anything from one another.

If a couple were to focus on giving (rather than receiving) then both individuals would be part of a loving and selfless relationship and/or marriage.  If we continue to focus on the receiving part, then are relationships will be like businesses rather than meaningful emotional bonds.

So when you have met your perfect partner, take a good, hard look at them and evaluate your relationship.  Is your lover your partner or your business partner?  Do you expect them to reward you when you have done something good for them?  If you answered ‘yes,’ then it’s time to close up shop.

 

 

 

 

Soulful Soundtrack For Your Next Asian Date

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When you are preparing a night of love on your next Asian date, it is essential to have the perfect mood music.  Mood music is the most effective and cost-effective way of setting the right romantic ambiance and atmosphere when it’s time for some adult dating action.  Being a huge soul fan myself, I find soul and neo-soul slow jams to be the best background music when it comes to lovemaking.

Although it sounds easy to prepare a perfect playlist, the mood could rapidly change with just one wrong song.  All you have to do is forget to take off your guilty pleasure like ‘I want to Sex You Up’  by Color Me Badd on your iPod to humilate yourself.

That is why I have prepared the perfect love and soul playlist for your special night.  No cheesy lyrics or autotuned noise here! Explore sensual music while you explore each other’s bodies.  All these songs can also conveniently be found on iTunes. So what are you waiting for? Download these songs and prepare you night of love!

Start Sumthing-Dwele
In My Bed-Amy Winehouse
Falling-Gaelle
Makeda-Les Nubians
So In Love-Jill Scott and Anthony Hamilton
Other Side of The Game- Erykah Badu
Goapele-Different
Sumthin Sumthin-Maxwell
Stolen Moments Alicia Keys
Find Your Way-Kem
Lay Down-Floetry
Sincere-Foreign Exchange

Prototype-Andre 3000

Determination-Blackstar

Where You Are-Rahsaan Patterson

Emotional Roller Coaster-Vivian Green

I Wish I Didn’t Miss You-Angie Stone

Marathon-Raheem Devaughn

Smile- Jamiroquai

Waiting For You-Debarge

Crush- Zhane

 

*Thank me later! :)

 




 

Asian Free Date